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EDIT: Malformed link is now fixed.

Oh my god.

TNG Season 8 is the funniest goddamn twitter feed I have seen in forever. Plots from the "unaired" 8th season of Star trek Next Gen. It is decidedly an Inside play, but if you're in, it's un. fucking. believable.

I'm going to share some highlights from it, as the lens for a geek quiz, where they take... close inspiration from actual episodes.

"A team of elite space thieves deactivate the Enterprise's artificial gravity and steal the warp core. Barclay disintegrates his legs."

1. When confronting a team of "elite" space thieves, who sneak on board during maintenance being performed on the Enterprise, what civilian Identity does Picard Claim?

"Dr Pulaski is back to evaluate Dr Crusher's fitness to practice medicine. Meanwhile, Beverly swoons for a ghost trapped in a loaf of bread."

2. When Beverly actually DOES swoon for a ghost, in what mundane object is it residing?

"The Enterprise is flung into the Delta Quadrant by an alien called the Caretaker. Geordi soups up the warp core and they're home by dinner."

3. What ship actually dealt with this problem over the course of too many years?

"A holodeck failure traps Picard in 19th century London, investigating Jack the Ripper. Data & Geordi's newspaper is mostly comic strips."

4. The "A" plot outlined here combines two recurring holodeck fantasies that occasionally get thrown around. Name the characters whose shoes are filled by Picard and Data therein.

"Riker must battle the only thing in the galaxy he may not be able to defeat: A CLONE OF HIMSELF. Troi is torn."

5. Certain connotations here aren't quite accurate, but this one, well... this one basically happened in an episode called "Second Chances." What name did the "other" Will Riker start going by at the end of the episode?

"A planet of genderless aliens invent sexuality in honor of Riker. Worf sits on Geordi's visor in sick bay, begrudgingly gets him a new one."

6.... this one is just great. That's all.


Magical Highlighty Answers
1. Picard Claims to be Mot, the Barber, a bolian who appears in at least one later episode.
2. In Sub Rosa, the ghost that has been seducing the women in Beverly's family for generations is revealed eventually to reside inside a candle.
3. That would be the Voyager, under Kathryn Janeway.
4. Picard's detective alter ego is Dixon Hill, and Data takes over the role of Sherlock Holmes.
5. Will Riker Prime goes by Thomas, now. (Will Riker's middle name).
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January 2012

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